I am never alone. I have multiple personalities inhabiting my head. A throng of people, of varying genders, sizes and ages. Sometimes these people talk; they whisper, shout, argue, cry and laugh inside my mind. Sometimes they burst out into the real world. They escape on to paper; become stories and poems others can read. Sometimes they break out as words; fragments of conversations spoken into the air where others can hear. My husband and children are used to my odd behaviour. ‘What did you say?’ they ask and I reply, ‘Just talking to myself’, or ‘Just thinking about a bit of my novel.’ With a shrug of the shoulders, they carry on. When it happens around other people, it can be embarrassing.
The first time I remember, was as a small girl, in a supermarket which was rather dull. I was making up a story to relieve my boredom. I’ve forgotten what it was about. In the middle of an involved exchange with some imagined character, I looked up and noticed two shelf-fillers had stopped what they were doing and were listening to me. They had broad, entertained grins on their faces. Reddening, I turned and hurried back down the aisle.
Since then, I have had many experiences of being overheard. My mind gets carried away, the characters come to life and out the words come, normally hushed under my breath. It can happen anywhere; on buses, trains, walking the dogs, shopping. I have had people ask if I am all right or if I am speaking to them. I have had people laugh or sneer. I have had people edge away awkwardly, concern on their faces. Mostly, I am met with bemused amusement. I feel a little foolish but it does no harm. In fact, it even does some good. The listener gets a good chuckle and something to talk about, while I develop my story lines.
It is acting with me taking every role. Playing out different scenes and characters helps me work out the plot. I become that person for a while; think, feel and respond as them. I decide how they would behave in each situation. It is part of who I am; I cannot imagine my life without the company of these others. Once, it worried me. I thought perhaps I was too caught up in a fantasy world; I was a bit kooky. After all, they say talking to yourself is a sign of madness. I am no longer bothered by it; I am aware where reality ends and the stories begin. It turns out that talking to yourself is a sign you’re a writer.
What do you think, fellow writers? Do you talk to yourselves too?
You are definitely going to write that novel that you want to. I used to be like this in school. I never really felt bored because being alone or travelling home on the bus meant spinning a story. I wish so much I could do it now but guess the job that I does not let me imagine as much.
I nominated you for the Lovely Blog award. Do check out my post to see the rules. Congratulations!
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I love this. So open and inspiring. We all have voices in our heads and talk to ourselves…how wonderful you can use it in such a creative way!
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Thank you 🙂
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Thank you so much for your kind words and for nominating me. One thing I enjoy about blogging is that you find other people who feel the same way as you do and have shared experiences. I’m sure you’ll find a way to write your stories in the future. 🙂
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There is constant talking especially when I am having a plot ready for a story or my next blog. I can see the characters and they talk to each other. But I dont think I have spoken out loud.Or have I? I should ask my family.
Reading this did bring a smile.. 🙂
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I’m not aware the words are being spoken out loud, so it may be worth asking!
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I know this feeling well, we are strange creatures us writers 🙂
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We certainly are! 🙂
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As I am by myself most of the time, I talk to myself more than anyone else, in my head and sometimes aloud. Glad to hear it is a common trait among writers and not just a sign that I am crazy.
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Yes, definitely a writer’s trait! 🙂
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Yup, you were definitely a storyteller from childhood. That experience in the supermarket is delightful.
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Thanks – I think writers have to try to keep the child alive in them. 🙂
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I write in coffee shops. I bring a notebook, have some tea and write scripts. So many times I start reading the conversations I’ve written in a whisper. When I finally look up, I see people around me staring as if to ask, “Are you okay?” It never phases me. 🙂
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I think that’s the right attitude! 🙂
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